Pronouns and labels question

Your_Neighborhood_Emo_Kid 5/15/2024 07:46 pm 434

So I have this friend who had come out as a non-binary lesbian, then yesterday they came out as a demi boy. Would this mean that my friend is straight and can no longer have the f sl*r pass???


24 Replies

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May 28, 2024 10:12 am

Personally, i think it gets complicated when people conflate

Woman=Fem

Man=Masc

, Which is where most of the "masc lesbian" debate comes from

May 28, 2024 10:05 am

Masc ≠ Male

If your friend defines themselves as a demi boy, that doesnt mean they're identifying as a male, you can't be a lesbian if you are a cis male, but since they're masc, and don't identify as a *trans male* they can be a lesbian.

If you like fem people, and you are not a cis male, you *can* call yourself a lesbian,

though the more appropriate term for a non fem lesbian would be "Sapphic" (non women loving non women)

May 28, 2024 9:50 am

@bingoSpingo: sorry but if you're a cis man you're not a lesbian happy I get if it you're nonbinary or female/femme aligned in some way but I'm tired of men, cis or not, identifying as lesbian just because. And that goes back to the whole "aestheticizing LGBTQ+" that everyone was losing their shit over on the internet. MOST men who "identify" as lesbian are doing mockingly. I just don't get why you'd appropriate a term invented for WOMEN to use to express their attraction to OTHER WOMEN. The whole point of being a lesbian is WLW, not MLW. There's also other terms for men and male-aligned individuals to use that express their attraction to women or women-aligned people because lesbian is not it like it's not that fuckin hard to understand???

May 28, 2024 9:41 am

@Your_Neighborhood_Emo_Kid: exactly ???!?! guys do that to make fun of me all the time

May 28, 2024 9:14 am

@Your_Neighborhood_Emo_Kid: *Whataboutism klaxon*

May 28, 2024 8:26 am

@Your_Neighborhood_Emo_Kid: you might want to read this strip from dykes to watch out for from 1999.



(you may be familiar with alison bechdel because of fun home or the bechdel test)


this strip explains the issue well in my opinion

May 28, 2024 8:20 am

@M1G0TT3: because some people have complicated relationships with gender and sexuality and its really weird to try and gatekeep how they understand themselves

May 28, 2024 8:06 am

guess there's no point in the the term lesbian anymore if ANYone can identify as it now


-a lesbian

May 28, 2024 6:11 am

Iz it that hard to not use slurznah

May 28, 2024 4:26 am

trying to fit every identity in a seamless box is a fruitless endeavor + as neopronounz said butch and transmasc solidarity (should be) real. also who cares . your friend is still queer either way